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Many years ago, when I was still sporting short trousers, rosy cheeks, and luscious flaxen hair, I entered a competition (between bouts of food poisoning and subsequent discovery of a penicillin allergy) on board a ship to Sweden. Goodness knows what I drew, but maybe this was the kick start I needed to pursue an artistic career? Who knows, had I not won I could be an astronaut or something now instead.

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